Assassination jokes
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"