Assassination jokes
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Memes
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."