Assassination jokes
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."