Assassination

Assassination jokes

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Morbid jokes

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

Hillary Clinton is elected president...

And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.