Ass jokes
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
F*ck my ass.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Your mom gay.
Mooning is very astrological!
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
you.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.