Asked jokes
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
"I'm an orphan."
"I didn't ask."
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."