Asked jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

"What’s your name?"

"Am erica."

"No, I asked for your name, not your country."

I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"

I replied, "As soon as possible!"

When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"

The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.