You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.
The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
