Asian jokes
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.