Artist jokes
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler? A Khan artist.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What’s a rapper’s favorite part of the house?
The rhyme cellar.
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the studio?
To drop some LEAD.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What do you call a rapper who's always sleepy?
NAP-TAIN
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Seasoning.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?