Arrest jokes
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!