Arrest jokes
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"