I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
why did the ducky get arrested
he got caught selling quack
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
because he was arrested on suspicion of murder
Why can’t a orphan get arrested
Because there not wanted
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
