Arrest jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"