Around jokes
Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!