Around jokes

I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?

Because they won't be there to stick around.

A skeleton decided to become an assassin.

He was always skull-king around!

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.

Why I turn around?

Infopka.com

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.