Around jokes

Be careful around fire, plastic melts.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?