Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potato's." *SMACK*! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, "what would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatos" said suzie *SMAACK*! she slapped suzie. "Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?" Well.... I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
to see who's hanging around.
Daughter: Dad
Dad: Yes honey
Daughter: Im Lesbian
Dad: Ok
Daughter 2: Dad
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: Im lesbian too
Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here
Son: I do...
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”
so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn't fit around his neck
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
