Ares jokes
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
Why are S and U never thirsty?
They drink tea (T).
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
My brother: Is aren’t built of are and not or are and n’t??
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Like if you know what ashes are.
Hi, how are you doing?
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
Why are you gay?
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.