Ares jokes
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
Roses are red, that much is true.
But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't go home.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.