Ares jokes
Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
Are you serious right now, bro?
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.
You are emo.