Ares jokes

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

Why are short people sad?

Don't judge though, it's crap but...

Because they couldn't reach happiness.

Why is there a middle school?

Because the kids that go there are middle class families.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.