Ares jokes

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

In England, for every church, there are two pubs.

In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.