Ares jokes
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I were you...
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
I hate you, Gwen. You are a stupid idiot!
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.