Ares jokes
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.