Ares jokes

The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

Snake one: Are we venomous?

Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?

Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."