Ares jokes
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.
There should be a "kick an orphan" day.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.