Ares jokes
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going home and walk home and I got home.
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?
Why are school shooting jokes so funny? Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
You guys are crazy!