Ares jokes
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Dear explain bear, why are you impolite to my fellow human friends. This is such a predicament. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
What are priests' favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.