Ares jokes
Orphan, why can’t I watch a PG movie?
Because they are Parental Guidance.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
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Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?