Ares jokes
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!