Ares jokes

Duck

10 views ·

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Mom

17 views ·

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

Jew

137 views ·

Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.

I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.

Head

13 views ·

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

Mother

315 views ·

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

Face

13 views ·

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

Man

19 views ·

Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

Joe: "Why do you say that?"

Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

Oven

149 views ·

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

Moment

34 views ·

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

Kurt Cobain

332 views ·

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Priest

250 views ·

Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.

Church

63 views ·

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."