Ares jokes
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.
Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.
As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."