Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking
suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you." Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
What are you good at? Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom..... Until they are flashing behind you!
*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.
Some people think incest jokes are funny. I just think it's all relative.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said "but the world is round"
I said, babe you are my world.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
