Ares Jokes

What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you." Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"


My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)


I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom..... Until they are flashing behind you!

*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.


Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said "but the world is round"

I said, babe you are my world.

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters


and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

Women are like the twin towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.