Ares jokes
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)