Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Someone asked me, 'What are them scars on your arm ? ..' I thought I was playing a violin '
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
Remember if you are suffering from paronia ...
You are not alone
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Why are feminists jealous of men? because men don't have to stand up to piss
Why are feminists always against men? because men can piss with something that they can't piss with dicks
Why are so many Americans stupid? Cause they shoot the ones that go to school
Are you depression 'cause you're always on my mind~
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him "sir are you drunk?" The man responds "No sir i'm not drunk." So the Officer asks "how high are you?" And the man responds "no sir, its high how are you."
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F---ing blue!
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny bc no parents are gonna be told
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?". The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!".
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
