Ares jokes
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ
Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.
You. You're the joke.
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)