Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.
Roses are red Violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I where you...
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
Roses are red My soul is black I am never getting My dad back
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
roses are red lemons are sour spread ur legs and give me an hour
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike
Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery . Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Genders are like the twin towers, there used to be two but now it's just a sensitive subject
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”
These gags are killing me !
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
