Ares Jokes

I used to be a banker but I lost interest...

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

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Urban areas are fill with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”