Ares jokes
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't find home.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Hey, are you bored? Kick an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
If you read this, you are gay/lesbian.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Hi how are you?
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.