Ares jokes
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Roses are tree.
I shoved a battery up my butt.
Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
You realize we are tolerating you, right?