Apple jokes
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"