Anti-jokes
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
The earth is flat.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."