Answer jokes
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Memes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?