Answer jokes
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
Quiz: Turn what for what?
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes? Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣