When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.’
Are you guys alright ? if you answered yes then you are wrong You are all LEFT kill meh (This joke was taken from dat none funny b*tch on britains got talent)
How do Germans tie their shoes ? Answer: In Nazis !
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement
There were three babies in a moms stomach. One baby asks, “what do you want to be when you grow up” The other baby answers, “a doctor I want to help people, what about you” “I want to be an engineer, I want to make things, what about you” he asks to the third baby. “I want to be a hunter”. “Why” the other babies ask. “I want to kill the snake that spits on my face”
why was 6 scared of 7
answer 7 8 9
how to make time fly
answer throw a clock out of the window
What happens when you say hey siri? Stephen Halking answers.
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Question: What do you call 8 apples? Answer: The iPhone 8
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
