I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
"I asked my friend what his he?" He answered "I'm sans'sational"
What are a pedophiles shoes called
Answer: WHITE VANS
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́
What does a glass of water ask a pond? Water you doing? What does the pond answer? Pondering life.
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
what do you call a guy named Ben
answer= Ben
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
How did helen keller burn the side of her head? she answered the iron How'd she burn the other side? They called back
when chuck norris was asked " do you know the way?" he replied " i am the way"
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
question: Why cant you trust tree? answer: Cause they are always shaddy
Why could the blind man not see
Answer because he is blind
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer
I knocked on Stephen Hawkins door but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found"
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered "Happy". The teacher said I didn't understand the test, I said to her that she didn't understand life
riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. what am I?
answer: a stamp
WHAT WOULD YOU CALL FOUR MEXICANS DROWNING IN A LAKE?
ANSWER: Quatro Cinco
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, Don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
