Answer jokes
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.