ANS jokes
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!