ANS jokes
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.