ANS jokes
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
My kid had an accident.
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
An Irishman walked past a bar.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)