ANS jokes
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What do you call an autistic army special forces?
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?
Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?