ANS jokes
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
fr tho
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.