ANS jokes
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's an orphan's favorite song? Gimme Shelter.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
What instrument can a skeleton never play? An organ.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-