ANS jokes
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Alone" by Alan Walker.
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Why can't you ever see an emo?
They're too high to see.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Why did I give the orphan an iPhone 14?
Because there is no home button.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"