ANS jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Why does an orphan play soccer?

Because it's the only love they get.

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!