ANS jokes
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
neeeow
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.