ANS jokes
Like if you know an orphan.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀