ANS jokes
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Memes
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.