ANS jokes
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
An ordinary image of different types of hairstyles.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?