ANS jokes

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.

What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?

Returning to the scene of the crime.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

What do you call an emo with a knife?

A cutting board.

How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.

Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it can't find home!

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.