ANS jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
He was so close but so far
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.