ANS jokes
Why can’t an Orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
Memes
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣