ANS jokes
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."