ANS jokes
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One of them is wanted.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
What's the favorite song of an Emo?
"Chain Hang Low."
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.