ANS jokes
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.
Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.
But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.
Men have to go to war on the front lines.
Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.
Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.
Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.
We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.
And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.
It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.
I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.
Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?
Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.
(This event can be done worldwide.)
Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.
(I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.
But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)