ANS jokes

When you're sad, hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?

The apples get picked.

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?

The rope would catch her.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?

Because the home button does not work.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.