ANS jokes
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.