"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period.
I wanted another piece of pizza.... but she said I could only have One Piece.
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you canβt use a vending machine when the powers out!
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man bisexual
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
You arenβt alone. If you ever need to chat Iβm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didnβt struggle
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks "what is that man doing?". The mom says "Making pizza" trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says "Making extra cheese". When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says "Ordering the pizza".
Later that day the mother says to the father "I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good".
So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs "wanna order some pizza !?"
The mother replied "DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME"
the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
what is another name for a serial rapist? short dress enthusiast
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! π€¬π€¬
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a Β£20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the Β£20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me Β£20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other Β£20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where saint Peter greets them hello sisters welcome to heaven before you enter I must ask you all a question he asks the first nun have you ever touched a penis well she said just once with the tip of my little finger ok dip it in the holy water and you can enter he repeats the question to the second nun well she says I might of held one once ok says st Peter wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter just then there's a commotion down the line one nun is trying to push in front of another st Peter says sister Susan there is no rush you will get in that's fine she replys but if I have to gargle that stuff I want to get in before sister Mary sticks her arse in it.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man gay now heterosexual later
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why am I talking to the mirror.
My girl friend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl she said I was cheating but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair
What is another word for a bagel? π₯― Jewish doughnut β‘οΈ π© π π π π π π πͺ πͺ π π π
How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another womanβs lipstick on his knuckles