Another jokes
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
What did one lung say to another lung?
"We belung together!"
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.