"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period.
I wanted another piece of pizza.... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man bisexual
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
You aren’t alone. If you ever need to chat I’m here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn’t struggle
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! 🤬🤬
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man gay now heterosexual later
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why am I talking to the mirror.
what is another name for a serial rapist? short dress enthusiast
How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles
My girl friend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl she said I was cheating but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair
What part of another one bites the dust do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them I,m standing on my own two feet.
i was playing warzone last night and i shot my team mate that said they were emo and when i shot him another player did and it said assist kill
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said i have what you dont he said (parents)and the kid said your right i do have parents and walked away
